TA DA!

As my granddaughter Chloe would say ... "Ta da!"

I got up this morning, took my shower, and stepped on the proverbial scales. I had to rub my eyes to be sure I was seeing the number I thought I was seeing. Tim (the hubby) and I just had this conversation last night discussing how I was nearing a MAJOR milestone in my journey. The scale read 265 lbs. I started out at 530 lbs. If you do the math, you'll find I have now lost the amount of weight that I currently weigh. I am only one half the physical person I used to be. Ta da, indeed! Another 35 lbs and I will pretty much be at my goal weight.

That said, then the trek begins to get the abdominoplasty to have the belly skin removed. I will say that though I've had no rashes, much to my surprise, I do have back pain and I know that I do not stand up straight as the weight pulls me forward. I will start calling the insurance company in January to find out what exactly they will need to get approval. I am hoping to be at 230 lbs when I go for my 18 month post op appointment at which time Dr. Vallina (my wonderful surgeon) will seriously discuss this surgery. I'd like to have the abdominoplasty before summer 2010, not because I want to wear a bikini or anything like that. I just want the skin gone and the results of my hard work to be even more noticeable. I am slowly getting to where I want to be and yes, this is my "TA DA" moment! There will be two more ... one for getting to goal and the other after the abdominoplasty.

All good things must come to an end ...

or so someone has said.

We all come to a realization at some point that the pounds are just not going to fall off forever. I know I've been the same weight, give or take four pounds, for three months now. I have not given up. I feel fantastic. I look pretty good, compared to where I have come from. If I remain this weight I will be okay. My health and quality of life has drastically improved and that's what this whole process has been about for me.

My surgeon says I should be able to lose another 40 lbs before I must learn to maintain. I figure I'm getting good practice now and I know I will keep the weight off this time. It is hard not to become disheartened or discouraged but I have found that I seem to no longer have this issue. I no longer obsess about the scale and feel the need to get on it every single day. I would love to say I only weigh once a week, but that just isn't the case. I am going to get there though.

Today the scale read 266.0 and I gasped. That is my lowest weight in over 20 years. Only 34 more pounds to get rid of and I will be the weight I was when I met my husband 26 years ago. That is a sobering thought. I thought I was so fat then and look at where I ended up. It makes me sad to look at the pictures of me when I weighed 530 lbs. I look at that woman and wonder what was going on in her life that she let things get so out of control. Then I realize that woman is ME! I can see beyond the fat and feel the pain now. I have been so blessed and know that no matter what, I am strong. I have survived so much and I will continue to survive. After all, I didn't go through all of this for no reason. The Lord has a plan, even for this, and all is well.

Oh wow!

I knew it had been quite some time since I updated here but somehow I missed the entire month of September. I don't quite know how that happened. I apologize to those of you who were used to getting updates a lot more frequently.

September 8 was the one year anniversary of my surgery. My protein levels are still way too low. I have to drink some protein now. A friend gave me some Muscle Milk to try and it isn't that horrid. It isn't the best thing I have ever had to drink but I can tolerate it so I will start drinking a couple of those per day. My B-12 was low but I think I know why and that has been taken care of. My weight remains near 270 right now bouncing up and down the same 3-4 lbs. I wonder if my body is just resting and catching up with all I have put it through the last year?

I had another surgery last month. I had noticed a knot in the incision where I had the growth removed from my left leg three years ago. Asked my surgeon, thinking it was just scar tissue and he said 'no way'. So, I had a small surgical procedure to remove whatever it was. He said it appeared to be a water filled cyst. It was sent to pathology to be sure it is nothing to worry about and that's the last I heard. Hopefully, I will be notified of test results soon but I am not really worried about it at all.

Still exercising and almost enjoying it. I only manage to go once a week right now. Work has been extremely stressful and I try to tell myself to just be thankful that I have a job right now. It isn't easy but I am managing.

Mandi and Chloe still live with us and it is a rocky road most days. Mandi still does not have a job though she is looking. She had found one then had no car and we couldn't find one we could afford so she had to pass. Having a job to do money drops was a requirement of the job. Hopefully she will find something else soon.

I will try to get back here more often. I want to make time this weekend to visit all of my friend's blogs and reconnect. I feel badly that I have let this go for so long. Know that those of you who have read here for so long are never far from my thoughts. Take care and God bless!