Exercise

So yesterday the hubby went to our rental office and got a key for the fitness center. It is located in the building right next to our apartment. We went and checked it out last night. They have three treadmills, two ellipticals, a bike, and a stair-stepper. They also have free handweights and a weight machine.

Out of curiosity, I stepped onto the elliptical and gave it a whirl. I think it's actually something I might like, given time and determination. I lasted only about two minutes before I felt like I was going to collapse, but it was two minutes at a pretty good stride rate. Or so I thought until the darn machine told me to "stride faster"! WHATEVER!

I tried to get on the bike as that used to be one of my favorite things to do to get exercise. I had an exercise bike of my own until my oversized body (many pounds less than I am right now, actually) managed to bend the sprocket and it couldn't be fixed. I got onto the seat and next was to try to get my feet into the stirrups on the pedals. No go! I think that hubby put the seat too low. It hurt my legs to bend that much. I'll give it another whirl next time. Thankfully, no one else was there to witness my humiliation!

I just have to make myself walk over there and do it. I know that I don't move my body enough. I'm hoping I can commit to this and make it work as well as track the calories in. It would be nice to have someone other than the hubby to go with but oh well. He's better than going alone.

Afterwards, they also have a sauna and a whirlpool/hottub. I tried out a sauna in college with my friend and thought I was gonna die. I couldn't breathe in there. And I'm not all that fond of hottubs. All I can think about is bacteria and germs and how that stuff grows with heat. Fungus among us! UGH I know that the heat is logically probably high enough to kill stuff and they put chemicals in it, but it still grosses me out. Hubby loves the hottub, though. He'll probably go over there with me and spend much of his time in there! LOL

Anyway, I'm on a quest to find out about what I should eat before working out. I know I read somewhere at some time that one should eat something. I think I read eat protein, but can't for the life of me remember. I was going to ask on the fitness boards at Sparkpeople, but everyone there seems so fit and it really made me feel like crap. I miss the old 100+ forum where I would have thought nothing about asking this question, but that's my hang-up to deal with. I've accepted that area is gone (Sparkpeople did an overhaul and now we have to post in teams which limits who answers us) and admit the hang-up is mine and mine alone. Wise words from Coach Dean made me see and acknowledge this. I don't want to hold myself back, but I cannot ask fitness questions in an area where people seem pretty darn fit to me!

So if you have knowledge or an opinion about eating before working out, please do share. I searched the Sparkpeople articles about fitness and found nothing. I did find eating something like half a sandwich made with tuna or turkey after working out is a good idea but nothing about before. Help me out, guys!

Computer Problems

I'm having some problems with the computer. Dell technician said he thinks the motherboard is fried. Will send someone out to assess and repair if it can be saved. Until then, I may be a little scarce so no need to check daily for a new post, if you do. Thanks!

Why?

Why does my first thought out of bed in the morning revolve around food? Why is it that I finish a meal and am already thinking about what the next one will be? Why must I be fixated on food all the time?

I'm so tired of thinking about food. I'm so tired of trying to figure out the right combinations of foods to eat, at the right times, in the right portions. It seems to be the focus of my entire day, every day.

I went to a dietician. What I wanted was for her to help me to come up with a month or two of menu plans so I would have all of that figured out for me. The plans here at Sparkpeople have been no help to me at all. There are too many substitutions, too many things on there that I've either never eaten or will never eat. I just don't get it. Isn't there a plan somewhere that will just lay it all out for me?

I guess I'm going to have to return to the exchanges and count the calories to ensure I'm getting enough. It's just aggravating to have to constantly think about what I'm going to eat. I suppose part of the thinking about it all the time is making sure I have the things I need to actually follow whatever I plan. One day, if ever I get down to a "normal" weight, I want to sit down with someone and just come up with menus that are inexpensive yet will allow others to just pick and eat. Yes, that's kind of what Nutrisystem allowed, but the sodium in that food alone can kill someone. I want to prepare my own food and enjoy it.

That's my rant for today.

And now ... in honor of being thankful this month, I am thankful to be alive today. I have a couple friends who have loved ones in the hospital. One is definitely not going to make it as they have a terminal illness. The other, I don't know much about yet. I'm thankful for my health and the health of my family.

Have a blessed day!

Nothing to Report

I've nothing to say but wanted to check in. Weight is bouncing up and down from 393-395 or so. I started taking a stool softener and we'll see how that does. I know that I'm tired of this problem and now have a real empathy for those who suffer from it all the time.

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving. Going to my sister's and my oldest daughter with the two girls will drop in for a visit. I'm really looking forward to seeing Ceci and Nadia.

Have a great week.

Doctor Visit

So I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon. She was pleased with my weight loss this last month. I went from 407 down to 393.5 over the last month. I explained the problems I had with what the dietician had told me. She gave me some feedback but bottom line was to do what I am comfortable with. She agreed that I should stop the Meridia for a short time. Save it and use in the future if I get stuck again. Also said that the calcium could be causing my problem so to stop it or only take it once a day and see what happens. She also said if I'd increased my fiber, I need to increase my water intake so that's my next chore to tackle.

Today I'm off to do mundane things like go do the laundry and go to the grocery store. It's back to work for me tonight on the overnight shift. Off Saturday and then work the evening shift on Sunday. One of the other overnight staff may be off on medical leave for the next 3-4 weeks so my hours and days may get all messed up. Oh boy! I can hardly wait!

Today I'm thankful to be alive. That's about it!

Today

I am thankful for having a job that at least gets the bills paid and puts food in my stomach and a roof over my head. It ain't much, but it's what I've got. Sure, there never seems to be enough money but we don't need anything. We want lots, but we have what we need. There are so many out there who are homeless, haven't eaten in over 24 hours, are wearing rags, and are worrying about how they are going to stay warm and live through the coming winter. I am so blessed to not be one of those people today.

On the diet front, I'm down to 393.5 this week. I still seem to have the constipation problem, though I stopped the Meridia, the vitamins, and the calcium supplements. I don't think I'm getting enough fat in my diet, not by planning but just by how it's working out. I have to work on that. And I see the doctor today, unless they call and cancel like they did yesterday. I'll be talking with her about it and see what she says. I know it's not lack of fiber or water so it has to be the fat issue. Maybe a stool softener will be in order for a short time until things get back to normal. *chuckles*

Oh ... I forgot to add that today is the anniversary of the day Tim and I met. It was a blind date set up by my best friend from college and his best friend from childhood. We went out for pizza and then bowling. It didn't matter neither Tim or I could bowl, almost all of mine went into the gutter. We had fun! Sometimes it doesn't feel like that was 23 years ago!

Thankfulness

This being the month of November and Thanksgiving, I'm going to pop in often to share the things I'm thankful in my life. I do a whole lot of whining and complaining. I need to be thankful for what I have and stop focusing so much on the things I want. Dreams are fine, but sometimes one just needs to be thankful for what they have and I know that I am blessed to have what I do. That said, here is my first post of 'thanksgiving' ...



Today I am thankful for Tim. He is always there to pick me up when I fall. He's there with a supportive hand when I stumble. He gives me encouragement when I feel I just can't go on any longer. He loves me unconditionally and has never stopped, even when I managed to pack on a whopping 300 pounds since marriage. He helps to guide me through this event called life. He cares when no one else does and even when I don't care myself. He supports me no matter what, even when I make stupid decisions. He doesn't criticize or belittle me. He doesn't hit me or try to hurt me. In 22 years of marriage, he's never cheated on me. He has been here and is my rock. Next to the Lord, he is my foundation and my reason for living. I just wanted to share what I'm thankful for today. Tomorrow may be a different story. He may just tick me off and then all bets are off. *giggles*

Thanks!

Just wanted to say a big thank you to those of you who have been visiting me lately. It's been great to stop in and find so many are reading my witless musings. LOL

I had to stop taking the Meridia. I think it made me constipated and has created another problem. I'll talk with my doctor and see what she has to say. I'm praying she doesn't want to do a colonoscopy. I know it isn't a big deal. Tim has had two of them and a couple endoscopies as well. I just don't want to have one myself.

The weight continues to bounce from 395-397. I'm going to just do what I know works and see what happens. I have to track the calories throughout the day. I have to drink my water. I have to get off my butt and move more. I'm slowly getting there and know that I'm not giving up. It's such a slow process but perhaps it's best for my body this way.

I watch a progam on Discovery Health Channel every week called Big Medicine. Last week's episode had a lady on there who had lost 200 pounds following gastric bypass surgery. The skin hanging was not pretty. She was trying to get surgery to have the skin removed but her insurance company sees this as cosmetic surgery no matter what her doctors have said. She gets rashes where the skin touches and has back problems from the weight of the skin pulling her forward. They don't care. In the back of my mind, I worry about having the same issue. But ... losing weight as I am, I'm also praying that it won't be such a big issue. She had surgery to lose weight and lost it quickly so her body could not adjust. I can't concern myself with the what if's though. Getting the weight off is the most important thing. I'll tackle the rest when the time comes.

Life is good. Work is busy and I've been working extra days. If I don't post much for the next few days it's because I'm working extra shifts and just don't have the time. No worries. "I'll be back!" (said in my best Arnold voice) *giggles*