Long Weekend

So it's a long weekend for me. I finally managed to get four days off in a row. Came down to my sister Jackie's house for my nephew's graduation from high school. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that the kids have all grown up.

Got to spend some time with my granddaughters, all four of them! We had a new one enter into the world on May 20 at 3:57 AM. Her name is Malaina Aleise and she weighed 7 lbs 4 oz. She is 20 inches long. Her oldest sister, Cecilia, is happy to finally have her here. Her other older sister, Nadia, isn't quite so thrilled. She is no longer the baby of the house and at just under two years herself, that's quite a blow. I'll post a photo of the girls with me in a moment.

Weight loss is happening again. I'm down to 282 and with just another 50 lbs gone, I'll weigh what I did when Tim and I got married 24 years ago! Wow I'm less than 100 lbs to my goal and believing I am going to make it. I refuse to let other people discourage me with tales of gaining the weight back. I still say that the surgery does not fail, we as people do. I know in my heart I am going to keep this weight off because I've worked so hard to get rid of it.

Now the photo and I'm out of here. Got things to do and more family to visit today.

Drained

It's been a long week and I'm feeling drained. I'm having a "Calgon, take me away" kind of week. Worried about my daughters and the life choices they are making. Not saying anything because every time I do, one of them then starts to feel like I'm attacking them. Just praying that they can live with the decisions they make. I'm sure I'll elaborate on this more with time.

Work has sucked a big egg this week. I had to fire one of my staff last Friday. She screwed up and it had to be done. She was a danger to the girls (not monitoring them as she should) and therefore a liability my program just does not need.

Lo and behold, I had to fire another on Thursday and one who was in cahoots with her later on today. The one on Thursday broke my heart. All I could think about was that this lady has been working for my organization for twenty years. She is over 50 years old. She is a widow. She lives alone. She has a limited skill set. She isn't likely to have an easy time finding a job with the market the way it is. It broke my heart to have to fire her. Again, it was necessary. She made some really bad decisions that has put the program in jeopardy. DCFS could pull our license and shut down the entire facility. It was that bad. I know as the program manager these things happen and I will have to fire people but dang, three people in one week. That's a bit much! Add to that my other staff are wondering who will get the axe next. No matter that these women all made horrible decisions that put all of our jobs on the line. I did what I had to do and sure pray that things get better.

Oh and you may be wondering why I said I fired three but only told you about two of them. The third will be fired later today. I wish I could crawl back in bed and pull the covers up over my head but I can't. I have to go in and fire this person. Not sure how she's going to take it. The first had little to say and I got the impression the organization will hear from her attorney. The second sobbed and collapsed and begged me to get her job back. This one is much more vocal and argumentive. I'm not looking forward to this but to say I just want it over. Them I'm going to hide out with the hubby and try to find some joy in the day.

On the weight loss front, I started to lose weight again, after being in a stall pretty much for over a month, only to get up and gain back two pounds. I tell you it's frustrating but I try to keep my focus on the big picture. The big picture is how well I've done. I guess I just have to figure out why I'm not losing right now. Nutrition group is next week so I'll talk to the NUT and see what she says. It may also have to do with a decrease in exercise. The trainer says I need to change things up a bit. I just haven't figured out how yet.

Hoping everyone is doing well. Thanks for the tips about the skin folds. I'm sure I'll be trying all sorts of things as the weather heats up and things develop. Ha!

Update for May

Eight months out and the losing has slowed dramatically. My surgeon warned me at my last visit that I would likely only lose about one pound per week now. I didn't want to believe it, but he was right. The month of April, I managed to lose only six pounds. I'm a little frustrated with this as I still have about 90 lbs to go to get to the number I'd like to be at. The hanging belly skin is beginning to be an issue. Summer is on it's way and the moist folds have begun, no matter what I've done to prevent them. I know that the itching, scratching, and rashes are what I have to look forward to. The only good news is that every issue I have will be documented in hopes of getting insurance to pay for the skin removal when I get to my goal. Water aerobics has given me a renewal. I'm really enjoying being back at that. I can't wait for the next four weeks to pass. Then I can return to my Tuesday night classes which I miss so much. I never thought I'd say it, but it's true! I will continue to march forward and know that I am making progress slowly and surely and I will be just fine!