Day by day

I called to check on Gobi today. They said he was really scared the first couple days. He is adjusting, goes for walks outside, and is eating and drinking. He seems to be responding to a couple of the caregivers. He will get a medical evaluation tomorrow and a behavior evaluation after that. Then, he will be considered for adoption. I pray he gets a great new home with someone who will love him and keep him the rest of his life. Poor baby.

I'm making it through the days. I'm not happy. I spend all of my time by myself. I'm sick of reading. I'm tired of watching tv. I'm tired of being alone, in a house full of people, ignored and treated like I don't matter, like I don't exist. It makes me so sad. I've tried to find things to get involved in but nothing has grabbed me so far. I just want out. Out of this house, out of this situation. Out!

Looking back, and yes I know I should be looking forward, I wish I could go back to about six years ago. We lived in an apartment I liked. Tim was alive and managing. We had our grandson Alex living with us. We were not rich but we were not struggling. I liked my job. I felt like I made a difference. Yes, if I could, I'd go back to that time.

Anyway, I hope to find somewhere to move soon. I think I'd feel better if that was locked in. I would have something to look forward to. For now, I will focus on getting through the week. Going to see my sister (forgot which night, LOL) and try to relax this weekend. Next week I'll be going to my nephew's for Thanksgiving. The world doesn't stop because I'm struggling.