I am free to run ...

I absolutely love a Christian song called "I am Free". It ran through my head this past week when I hit what for me was a major accomplishment. To the average person, this will not even be worth mentioning but for me it was HUGE!

The hubby and I had gone to the fitness center here at our apartment complex so I could walk on the treadmill and work out with weights. I didn't really feel like going but the hubby encouraged me as only he can. He knows that I'll be mad at myself if I don't go so ... At any rate, I went and got on and started my routine. I take a couple minutes at a pretty slow pace to warm up and then usually do the majority of the walk at about 2.8 mph. I've been working on building up to 3 mph and have gotten there but only maintain it for about five minutes right now before I start back down until I am barely walking for a cool down.

So I'm about ten minutes into my walk and I'm at 3.0 mph. I maintained that pace for five minutes and started to wonder how fast I would have to be going to run. I don't know what possessed me to think about running. I've never liked running; it's way too much like exercise! *chuckling* Anyway, before I know what I'm doing my finger is hovering over the increase speed button and then I push it. Up goes the speed ... 3.1, 3.2 Okay this is pretty fast, but it's more like I'm powerwalking now. (Remember when that was a big thing in the 80s?) The finger continues to hover and then I'm going 3.3, 3.4, and woo hoo! At 3.5 mph I was off and running. Oh my, I thought I was going to fall or die. My heart was pounding. The sweat was pouring off of me. My feet were pounding on the treadmill. My hands were sweating and I was holding on for dear life feeling like I was going to collapse. My knees and ankles were screaming. Fifteen seconds into it, I wanted to pull the emergency stop cord. But I could hear the trainers on Biggest Loser pushing the contestants to just do it. I remember Bob yelling at a girl named Joelle a few weeks back because she couldn't do a simple 30 seconds. So that became my goal. I ran like I don't think I've ever ran and I did it for 30 seconds. Instead of pulling the emergency stop cord, I then backed off to 3 mph. Wow, that didn't seem quite so quick anymore. I then backed off every few minutes a few more tenths of a mile and did my usual cool down routine.

I was amazed. But as I ran, that song just kept running through my head. "I am free to run! I am free to dance! I am free to live for You! I am free! Yes, I am free!" What a liberating experience it was! I'm so proud of myself. It may be a while before I try that again, but I know that I can and I will.

So, after a pretty crappy week of minimal loss showing on the scale, early on I even gained three pounds overnight and got a little freaked out (which isn't my normal reaction to a gain but three pounds; come on), I managed to push through it all. I am now down to 308.8 this morning. I started last week at 315 something. It was a good week, after all. The crap was just something to help me focus and push on through. I feel GREAT! Another two weeks, I'm hoping, and I will leave the 300s behind, tackling the 200s and heading further downward toward my goal. I'm no longer the "little engine who thinks she can". I'm the steam engine who KNOWS she can!

Have a great week, everyone.