Bouncing like a ball

I had bounced back up to 400 pounds but as of today I'm back to 395.5. I really intend to stick with moving this darn scale down. The challenge has really helped me go regain my focus. Having my pedometer working again has also helped to motivate me more, providing extra encouragement.

I remember a time when doing 100 steps holding onto the kitchen counter was a chore. Now, I'm walking an average of 5000 steps per day and looking to continue to raise it as I go on. I want to be walking 10,000 steps per day as is recommended everywhere I read. I know I can do it.

I'll be missing in action for a couple days. Time for yet another trip south to take Tim to doctor appointments. I'll be glad when our insurance kicks in here and we can change him to a doctor here. It will certainly make life much easier!

Work was horrid yesterday. These girls have no concept of working for anything. Once they mess up, it's like "oh well, I can't drop any lower so let me act like an ass all day long"! It's so darn tiring and frustrating.

I went in early because of little staff in the morning. I got to track a girl who left the home because she was mad about the level her behaviors caused her to be on. Leaving the home without permission dropped her yet another level. She then proceeded to antagonize the other girls with loud music while they were trying to watch a movie. One of the other girls pulled the plug on the radio and all hell broke loose. I and another staff had to break it up. I got hit with a cord (one girl was using as a weapon) and pushed down. Thankfully, I landed on a coffee table that is very sturdily made and it held up. I wasn't injured. But it was an ugly scene and by the end of the day I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

I get to go back in a little while and do it all over again. Oh yippee! It honestly wasn't like this when I worked for this organization years ago. We rarely had to break up fights. Now it's an everyday occurrence, or so it seems.

Add to that one girl threatening to kill staff during the night and then all the girls and another threatening to commit suicide and well, work sure isn't boring. Today I get to drive to the city to the projects to pick a girl up from pass. I also get to try to figure out the darn budget as it's due and I don't remember much about how to do it. Damn ... seven more days with me in charge. Sure hope I make it through without quitting this job.

I do have a temporary solution to the stress once the manager is back. I'm going to ask to be dropped to youth care worker status and go to work on the overnight shift. It will be less pay but much easier in many ways. I'm also continuing to look for something else. It's out there. I just have to keep searching.