Or perhaps it's always been here. I realized a few months ago that I have become a junk food hoarder. I buy stuff, sometimes that I don't even like, just so I have it. I don't always eat it. Sometimes I do, but a lot of the time I give or even throw it away. I don't know why I do this. I don't remember doing it when Tim was alive. Oh, I'd buy myself junk food now and then but it was things I would eat and would usually be gone the same day.
For instance, today while I was out, I bought a box oh Hostess Ding Dongs. I don't even like them but I felt compelled to buy them. I ate one when I got back and thought I don't like them, and though I didn't really want it, I ate it anyway. What is wrong with me?
I currently have a box of hot tamales (I will suck on during my drive home), a box of cow tales, a box of Reese's pieces, a bag of soft pepper mints, three packs of soft peppermint sticks (one of each I will eat, the other two are for my sister), a cup of nutter butter cookies (I don't even like those, either), a bag of bite size snickers, a bag of bite size milky way, and some extreme sour patch kids tummies. I stockpiled this in the last couple days. I just feel like I NEED to have it. I do the same thing at home. My bedroom is like a candy store. And I will buy and eat an entire family size bag of chips every day if I can. I've started to limit myself to the smaller bags, and I've cut down the frequency, but I just feel like I have to have something ALL the time. I've tried hard candies and suckers. They don't work for me.
So ... I have this problem. My weight has pretty much been steady for the last three years within five pounds. Thankfully, that is holding steady. I just don't get this obsession with food. When I'm not eating, I'm thinking about food. I'm sure a lot of this is tied to an eating disorder. I just have to figure out what to do about it. Thoughts or ideas are appreciated.
Monday, February 17, 2014
I've Developed a Problem
Posted by Karon at 2/17/2014 06:52:00 PM
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4 comments:
Probably old coping patterns coming back to handle the stress you are having in your life now. Food is how you used to handle your emotions, you learned to deal with them in a healthier way but you have had a lot going on lately so the emotions say "Food used to work for me". But it is lying.
You probably need to "set your foot down" with yourself. Just a thought.
I agree, Janet. Thanks. I guess I just have to resist the urge to buy the junk in the first place. I think I'm going to try to get myself engaged in some art expression. I'll need stuff to put on my walls when I get my own place. What I create can't be any worse than some of the crap I see on walls everywhere. LOL
When the going gets tough I run to food to avoid doing or feeling what is necessary. Food is not your friend but the comfort it provides makes you feel like it is ever so briefly. Ask yourself before you buy or eat "What do I really need right now and how can I get it?". For me, I know I need to learn how to identify what I am feeling because often I am clueless. Journaling helps and I never stop trying to figure it out. Baby Steps my friend.
Sue
When the going gets tough I run to food to avoid doing or feeling what is necessary. Food is not your friend but the comfort it provides makes you feel like it is ever so briefly. Ask yourself before you buy or eat "What do I really need right now and how can I get it?". For me, I know I need to learn how to identify what I am feeling because often I am clueless. Journaling helps and I never stop trying to figure it out. Baby Steps my friend.
Sue
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