Taking Back My Power

This day started out as a day shot all to hell. I was upset. I was angry. I was questioning why. Why do I continue to put myself out there for others when I end up being hurt over and over again. I went to Tim in tears this morning and simply asked him, "Will I ever learn?" He didn't miss a beat. His reply, "No!". He had no clue what I was referring to but he knows me so well after 21 years. And he's right. I will never learn because I keep thinking I can save the world. You know what? I think I'm finally getting it. I can't save the world. And I can't help those who don't really want my help.

I will say I'm tired. I'm so very tired of putting myself out there, going out of my way to help someone and then having them basically smack me in the back of the head when I'm not looking. I'm tired of having others twist and misinterpret what I say and then try to put it all back on me. I'm tired of thinking someone is my friend to find out that they have no respect for me as a person.

I was really upset this morning. I was upset to the point that I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't make myself get up to work out with Richard. I wanted to eat. Yes, I'll say it. I wanted to eat and keep on eating and not stop. (I did eventually make myself work out. And I did not succumb to the eating monster that was dwelling inside me. I ate on program and did not waver ending my day well within my calorie limit for the day.)

And then I had an e-mail from a dear friend. It was supportive, encouraging, and uplifting. It made me realize that I give other people too much power over me. I am really the only one who can let someone get to me. I'm the only one who can allow what other think or say to affect how I go about my day. I am the one who is in control of my emotions. ME! What a wake-up call I've had.

So, I'm taking my power back. No more will I allow others to have the power to upset me. I will continue on my journey, surrounded by good friends and know that I am loved. I am a valued person to many. I am supported, encouraged, and uplifted over and over on a daily basis. And I'm helping others. I am supportive, encouraging, motivational, and inspirational. I know that I don't have all the answers, all the time, but when I don't I try find out the right answers. And I also work hard to clarify and say that something is my opinion when I don't have the facts to back up what I'm saying. Gee, I have a LOT of opinions! Don't we all? ;-) And you know what else? It's okay if you don't agree with me. It's even okay if you don't like me. But I am not giving anyone the power to make me feel bad anymore. The power is now back in my hands and I AM in control!