There comes a time in everyone's life when one must decide whether to sit still or to move on. This comes in decisions like weight loss, employment, family, friendships, and well ... just life in general. No matter how sad or defeated it may make one feel, sometimes it's best to say "Okay, I gave it my best shot" and move on. Darn life anyway! And that's enough about that.
Today was an okay day. I helped a new friend figure out quite a few things using the computer, using Yahoo, etc. It was fun to be making a new friend and helping someone. I think that is part of what I am here on this earth to do. Help and serve other people in whatever way I can. And sometimes it's time to move on. (There it is again.)
I stuck to my food program today and the scale showed a slight loss this morning since Sunday. (Yes, Paul, I know I shouldn't weigh every day but I can't seem to help myself no matter what.) I drank 96 ounces of water today and 12 ounces of diet Pepsi. I moved my body to my exercise video for 20 minutes so I've now completed a total of 75 minutes already this week!
Watched the show "The Biggest Loser" tonight and was amazed at the losses. I realize that is reality TV but dang! The losses ranged from 4-17 pounds. I said to Tim, "Gosh, I'd give anything for a ten-spot right now". He said, in his matter of fact know-it-all voice, "Well if you moved around and pushed yourself like they do, maybe you would." That kind of pissed me off! (Sorry for the language, but it did.) I am moving more than I have in a very long time and though I know he's right, dang! Can I get a "good job" or "atta-girl" out of him when I feel defeated? Nope. He goes into telling it like it is and reserves the pats on the backs for when I really don't need them. That irritates me. Is it time to move on?
That seems to be my theme of late ... Is it time to move on? Is it time to cut my losses and say adios? Is it time to tell myself I've done the best I can do and there's nothing else I can do?
I was reading a blog the other day and the owner (Bob) was talking about the psychological impact of losing weight. I think he may be onto something. I want to believe that as I lose weight, who I am won't change. I generally like the person I am ... except for the outside wrapper. I don't want my personality to change. I don't want to become a thinner person to find I don't like me anymore. And I don't want my family or friends to not like the new me either. Losing weight is so much more than getting the number on the scale to go down.
I'm tired and not sure I'm making sense so I'll just say this. In one aspect of my life, I have made the decision to move on. I'm okay with it, though I understand someone has been hurt in the process. I'm not okay that I hurt them as that was never my intention. But I am okay in my decision to just be done.
Hope each of you has a great night!
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Moving on
Posted by Karon at 10/04/2005 10:34:00 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
5 comments:
Thanks for the encouragement, Paul. I think I was just in a reflective mood. No one wants to see a relationship end but I have to agree that sometimes it is the best thing to do. I should have followed through back when I first made mention of this and then deleted the post from my blog. (I'm sure you remember the similarity in the theme.)
I've been thinking a lot about how other's reactions may change in relation to my weight loss. In some instances that is going to be a good thing. Maybe I'll finally land a job! In other instances, I'm sure that there will be some who won't see the same way they do now. As long as Tim and I work through any issues that come up, I'll be okay. He's been my best friend and soulmate for the last twenty years and though he sometimes irritates the crap out of me (and I him I'm sure) from time to time, I'd be lost without him.
I really appreciate your insight. Thanks!
my dear friend! I was almost crying at your post today and since I was sneaking a peek while at work that wasn't good! I had to re-read it several times to be sure you were NOT talking about Tim. I am guessing there is someone else who has really hurt you. I too have been burned by friendships I thought were rock solid only to find out they were just users and when I no longer offered them what they wanted they moved on. In several cases it involved friends to whom I was their fat friend and after weight loss was viewed as a threat - and one had been my friend for 15 years. I even had a previous assistant here at the the resort tell me that she was afraid I would lose too much weight and be too much competition with her for the few available men. I have only known one person besides my family who loved me regardless of my weight - fat or thin, he didn't care. Unfortunately, he couldn't stand the fact that I made more money than him and had more education, but that is a story for another day.
I agree with Paul - if they can't relate to you anymore because of your change in your weight then move on. It is THEIR LOSS. Karon, knowing how much your personality and caring and concern come through just through your posts, I can't imagine anyone not wanting to be your friend in person. A true friend stands with a friend regardless of what changes! That is what true friends do.
I know you know you can count me as a true friend.
As a mutual acquaintance of ours would say to me at times when we correspond, lots of content.
First of all let me say that I think you are doing a magnificent job of trimming off the excess weight. You have a "program" that you are working within, and from all accounts it is working splendidly for you.
This being said, your comment that you quoted from when you were watching 'The Biggest Loser' was really you voicing a bit of impatience on your part, and that bit of wishful thinking inside all of us for a little something more than what we have without really putting any effort into getting it. Seems to me Tim's rejoinder simply burst that bubble. I hardly believe that he was suggesting that you did not put any effort into your program, but having that bubble burst might have left you feeling that way.
I say, keep up your program, if after some reflection you decide that you would like to be progressing quicker than you currently are, then do some research and see what you could add to the program or how to alter in such a manner that you can move along quicker. If after some reflection, you decide that you are doing magnificently, then smile at the excellent job you are doing, and just hug the stuffing out of that great guy.
Glad the handle makes you chuckle, I just work with the initials I got from my folks. ;)
Hi, Michelle! You know, at one point I believe I was talking about Tim. Some days I don't know how I'd go on without him and other days I really wonder why I bother.
I'm glad that you are my friend, sweetie. Thanks for being here for me.
Hi, awg!
Thanks for the kudos on the trimming. For now, what I'm doing is indeed working so I will continue to proceed as I have been. I always appreciate the feedback, though.
I have to agree that Tim burst my bubble. He does that all the time, darn him! But ... I also know that he didn't mean to imply that I don't put enough effort into things. I think he is finally just realizing how difficult some things have been for me, as I shed the pounds and am able to do more. A little late, but at least he's starting to comprehend.
Of course, you pretty much always know what to say with me. I'm thankful to have you in my life and you know that. I puzzled for a few seconds on the handle and then it clicked. That brought the chuckle. It didn't even occur to me the initials. D'oh! Catch you next time.
Post a Comment